Our final day in Thailand is spent with the tourist hordes of Patong - we eat from street stalls on the beach, find a great night market, skip the girlie bars, and survive the McBroccoli Pie.
For our last night in Thailand we lash out on a good hotel. Normally when we go upmarket we end up with the crappiest room in the joint, but this time we hit the jackpot - a poolside room with private balcony. You can just walk out the doors and into the pool, swim around the bridge and you're at the pool bar. Heaven.
Patong is one of those places that gets a fairly bad rap - overcrowded, full of girlie bars and overweight tourists looking for special friends. It has that, but it's easy to avoid, just stay on the edges of town, the dodgy bits are concentrated in one area. Food-wise Patong is a winner, there's everything from hawker stalls to KFC to celebrity chef fine dining. As per usual, it's the street food we're interested in.
After we've relaxed by the poolside bar we head out for something to eat. Along the Kalim Beach end we find this streetside stall selling grilled fish with a faceful of herbs stuffed down his throat, salted grilled fish and tender pork chops.
We go for the herb stuffed fish and two pork chops neatly cut up into gob stuffing portions and join the groups of people on a mat by the beach enjoying a late afternoon feast. This is living.
This is Patong: a hardworking streetfood vendor on foot, with a girlie bar in the background.
After walking through the main strip through all the bars and across a major new shopping centre, we stumble on this night market. As we are still full of fishy and porky goodness we decide to get some takeaway to enjoy back at the hotel room.
This market caters to both locals and tourists, which is the best of both worlds because the food is great and the market is squeaky clean and hygenic. This is a great place to dive in head first.
Simple fresh corn on the cob.
Frying, boiling, flipping.
Sushi seemed to be a big hit in a few places we went to, there were qute a few places in Thailand we saw it available, but there was too much great Thai food to waste stomach room.
Fresh fruit and vegies were available as well - limes, tamarind, papaya, pomelos and green mangoes in the foreground.
There were many stalls selling small bags of ready made salads. There is a special art in securing those puffed up plastic bags with an elastic band.
Anything on a stick tastes good.
Fesh seafood on ice with a salad side.
Many different curry dishes, including one of our favourites with googie.
Tiny little skewers of sticky spicy chicken and pork.
Some serious deep frying, this isn't delicate tempura.
Selections of pretty sweets and squiggly cendol and coconut milk in bags.
Lots of grilled fish stalls, similar to our beach feast.
Colourful sweets, probably with a little bit of a salty kick in them.
I wish I'd tried one of these sausages, they looked plump and tasty.
A whole stall of sweeties and not enough stomach room to try them all.
Thai sweets - creamy custard, purple taro and sticky rice. Each selection was wrapped in a little banana leaf and secured with a toothpick.
This vendor can make eggs with his eyes closed.
Grilling chicken on spliced chopsticks to hold the bigger pieces together.
Som tum pounding action. The ladies running this stall worked hard and produced a sublime result. Optional little crabbies add a super flavour hit.
Each stall was a riot of fried or fresh, whatever you felt in the mood for.
Select your own sweets for an ice dessert.
More sausages with a killer looking green chilli paste sauce.
These schnitzels you won't find at your local. We tried the ground rice and chilli covered selection on the right - spicy, crunchy and tasty.
Rice parcels wrapped and ready to party.
Pretty ready to go salad packs with finley sliced shallots and slices of lime.
Kanom Jin fixins - fresh herbs, wing beans, curry sauce, okra and fresh and pickled vegies.
Piles of cooked spanner crab flesh. We took back a carton of pure picked out flesh served with a spicy lime and chilli sauce. The crab was a little plain on its own, but was transformed once eaten with the sauce.
Bubbling pots of mystery, probably eggplant, the vegetable of choice in Thailand.
We became addicted to these tiny little quail eggs cooked in what looked like a little custom fryer. Great with a sprinkle of white pepper, stuff them in your face while they're hot.
The next day I resist leaving Shawn behind at this man day care centre. They need these in Westfields.
After spying this guy the day before, we bought an egg to try, and it blew our minds. A small hole had been poked in the top and the contents stirred up inside the egg with some pepper. It is then cooked over the hot coals until ready to be eaten.
We couldn't resist trying some of the local specialties at McDonalds. It's one our favourite things to try the different variations when we travel. Up top is a broccoli pie - a hot, cheesy goo that I would love to have here, as well as the taro pie. Thai McDonalds also serves Samurai Pork burgers, a pork patty with a teryaki style sauce, and yummy Thai milk tea - same old fries though.
On our last day we still spy stalls setting up or settling in for the day. There's just too much to try.
From the car on the way to airport we nearly cried the whole way. We spied hundreds of food options: streetside restaurants, street food vendors, markets, temple fairs and more. Given the dreadful state of the food at Phuket Airport, we should have insisted on one last feast before we got there. Next time...